Sometimes life is a shit flavored Popsicle.
It a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.
W. Sommerset Morgan
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather, who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Then find someone who’s life has handed them vodka and have a party.
The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little time.
What you discover about life’s shell game is that it’s hardest to follow the pea when you’re the pea.
Go through life like a duck: Majestic on top, kicking like hell underneath.
Life is hard, after all, it kills you.
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
Life is too important to be taken seriously.