Funny Quotes About Men
Take a dig at the funny side of men with these Funny Quotes About Men.
My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. —-Tim Allen
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. “Women marry men with the hope they will change. “And they are both disappointed.”
Man is a political animal by nature; he is a scientist by chance or choice; he is a moralist because he is a man. —-Hans J. Morgenthau
he quickest way to a man’s heart is through his chest. —-Roseanne Barr.
The strength of a man isn’t in the weight he can lift.
It’s in the burdens he can carry. —–Sermon Fodder
The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs. —-Marie-Jeanne Roland
Women with “pasts” interest men because men hope that history will repeat itself. —-Mae West
To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It’s a whole different way of thinking. —–Elayne Boosler
Show me a man who lives alone and has a perpetually clean kitchen, and 8 times out of 9 I’ll show you a man with detestable spiritual qualities. —-Charles Bukowski
No man is an island, but some of us are pretty long peninsulas. —-Ashleigh Brilliant.
Every man’s life lies within the present; for the past is spent and done with, and the future is uncertain. —-Marcus Aelius Aurelius
All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts. —-William Shakespeare
There is a vast difference between the savage and the civilized man, but it is never apparent to their wives until after breakfast. —-Helen Rowland
Men are men before they are lawyers, or physicians, or merchants, or manufacturers; and if you make them capable and sensible men, they will make themselves capable and sensible lawyers or physicians. —–John Stuart Mill
Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened. —–Winston Churchill
A good man doesn’t just happen. They have to be created by us women. A guy is a lump, like a doughnut. So first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap they pick up from beer commercials. And then there’s my personal favorite…the male ego. —–Rita Rudner
Women cry. Men laugh. Whiners moan. Men laugh. Wimps complain. Men laugh. —-LISA GARDNER
Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you. —-Mae West.
All men are not slimy warthogs. Some men are silly giraffes, some woebegone puppies, some insecure frogs. But if one is not careful, those slimy warthogs can ruin it for all the others. —–Cynthia Heimel
Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one. —Marcus Aelius Aurelius
Lord, lord, how subject we men are to this vice of lying. —–William Shakespeare
Men must endure their going hence, even as their coming hither; ripeness is all. —-William Shakespeare
Who is the happiest of men? He who values the merits of others, and in their pleasure takes joy, even as though t’were his own. —–Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.—– Pope John XXIII
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November 22nd, 2009 at 7:05 am
A good man doesn't just happen. They have to be created by us women. A guy is a lump, like a doughnut. So first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite…the male ego
JUST LOVE THIS UN…..