Funny Life Quotes Page 4
If I had known I was gonna live so long, I would have taken better care of myself.
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once. —–Ashleigh Brilliant
The cost of living’s going up, and the chance of living’s going down. —-Flip Wilson
Life is like a game of poker: If you don’t put any in the pot, there won’t be any to take out. —-Moms Mabley
Experience is a terrible teacher who sends horrific bills. —-Unknown.
I have lived in the world just long enough to look carefully the second time into those things that I am most certain of the first time. —Josh Billings
If I had my life to live over again, I’d make the same mistakes, only sooner.–Tallulah Bankhead.
No one is listening until you fart. ~Author Unknown
Life is but a connection of short lasting good moments tied together by long lasting misery. —-Wietse Wiels
In life, it’s not who you know that’s important, it’s how your wife found out. —-Joey Adams
I think I’ve discovered the secret of life – you just hang around until you get used to it. —–Charles Schulz
The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life. —-Muhammed Ali
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!!!
If you are living your dream, be sure it isn’t a nightmare.
Love is the history of a woman’s life; it is an episode in man’s.
Germaine De Stael
If life gives you lemons, find someone with a papercut!
Life is short and so is money.
Bertolt Brecht
Life is better with scotch.
Most things in life are momnets of pleasure and a lifetime of embarrasment; photography is a moment of embarrassment and lifetime of pleasure.
Tony Benn
Life is short. Stunt it.
Andy Samberg
I intend to live forever — so far, so good.
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
Mark Twain
If everything’s under control, you’re going too slow.
Mario Andretti
If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of Spam.
Johnny Carson
Life is like a cobweb, not an organization chart.
Ross Perot
We are all amateurs, life is too short for us to be anything else.
Charlie Chaplin
If I had my life to live over again, I’d be a plumber.
Albert Einstein
Life is like a roller coaster, and I’m about to throw up.