Funny Life Quotes Page 2

Death is a once in a lifetime experience.

There are two ways to slide easily through life: to believe everything or to doubt everything; both ways save us from thinking.
Theodore Rubin

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
Albert Einstein

Life’s unfairness is not irrevocable; we can help balance the scales for others, if not always for ourselves.
Hubert Humphrey

Life is a sexually transmitted disease.
R. D. Laing

what a wonderful life ive had! i only wish id realized it sooner.

I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it.
Jack Handey

Life is like a cobweb, not an organization chart.
Ross Perot

There must be more to life than having everything.
Maurice Sendak

When people search for “Life Quotes” they are often looking for quotes about life. Why do the major search engines only give them hundreds of pages of commercial garbage about Life Insurance Quotes?
Bill Austin

Live everyday like it was your last, and eventually you’ll be right.
Unknown

How could there be any question of acquiring or possessing, when the one thing needful for a man is to become — to be at last, and to die in the fullness of his being.
Antoine de Saint-Exupery -

It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.
Douglas Adams

Parents learn a lot from their children about coping with life.
Muriel Spark

I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell.

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

Life would be perfect if: pleasant time had pause and re-play button, gloomy time had fast forward and delete button.
Unknown

In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then He made School Boards.
Mark Twain

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.
There is properly no history; only biography.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

My life summed up in one word: Random.
Trent Olson

The basic rule of human nature is that powerful people speak slowly and subservient people quickly because if they don’t speak fast nobody will listen to them.
Michael Caine

New Life Philosophy: My d**k is a passport. V**ina is a foreign country. I would like to visit as many countries as possible. A world traveler, if you will. But not those third world countries. That’s just gross.
Jon

One Response to “Funny Life Quotes Page 2”

  1. Jerry Born Says:

    All my bulbs still work. I just have a few loose sockets.

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