Life Quotes and Sayings

Here are some famous Funny Birthday Quotes to instill some fun and humor into this special occasion of birthday.

The return of my birthday, if I remember it, fills me with thoughts which it seems to be the general care of humanity to escape.
Samuel Johnson

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
Mark Twain

The only reason you hate your birthday is because people give you odd gifts, scary cards with weird messages in them, and because you’re getting older. Anyway, Happy Birthday!

The only constant thing in this world is change – and birthdays every year!

We are all born naked and screaming and if you’re lucky that sort of thing won’t stop there.
Unknown

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Age is a number and mine is unlisted.
Anonymous

I was trying to think of what to get you for your birthday but nothing came to mind.

My wife hasn’t had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of our Lord-only-knows.
Anon

Birthdays are reminders that we cannot turn back time. You could only wish that this year would not be the same route you took last year.

Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.
Robert Frost

A man of sixty has spent twenty years in bed and over three years in eating.
Arnold Bennett

Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.
Billie Burke

You were born an original. Don’t die a copy.
John Mason

You would know that it’s your 60th birthday when you get to date women half your age without breaking any laws.

Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened?
Cora Harvey Armstrong

Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
Tom Stoppard

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.
Robert Frost

Birthdays? yes, in a general way;
For the most if not for the best of men:
You were born (I suppose) on a certain day:
So was I: or perhaps in the night: what then?
James Kenneth Stephen

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.
Stephen Wright

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
Unknown

What most persons consider as virtue,
after the age of 40 is simply a loss of energy.
Voltaire

As long as there are birthday Gifts, I don’t mind celebrating my birthdays everyday.
Unknown

Birthdays are good for you; the more you have the longer you live!
Unknown

I am long on ideas, but short on time. I expect to live to be only about a hundred.
Thomas Alva Edison

Sing a song of Birthdays Full of fun and cheer And may you keep on having them For many a happy year.
Anonymous

Nature gives you the face you have at twenty, but it’s up to you to merit the face you have at fifty.
Coco chanel

It takes seventy-two muscles to frown, but only thirteen to smile.
Unknown

Birthdays are like buses, never the number you want.
Unknown

I cried on my 18th birthday. I thought 17 was such a nice age. You’re young enough to get away with things, but you’re old
enough, too.
Liv Tyler

Finally 21, and legally able to do everything I’ve been doing since 15.
Anonymous

The older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune.
Pope Paul

They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body.
Unknown

As you slide down the banister of life, may their be no splinters pointing the wrong way.
Unknown

If My Mind Had A Toll And I Charged You A Penny Every time You Crossed It I’d Be A Millionaire.
Unknown

On my 60th birthday my wife gave me a superb birthday present. She let me win an argument.
Unknown

Inside every older person is a younger person –
wondering what the hell happened.
Cora Harvey Armstrong

Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you have not committed.
Anthony Powell

One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them.
Virginia Woolf

We know we’re getting old when the only thing we
want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.
Unknown

You’re one of the best with a pure heart of gold you’re thoughtful and kind you have a good soul. Happy Birthday.
Unknown

Every ten years a man should give himself a good kick in the pants.
Edward Steichen

Through a dull tract of woe, of dread, the toiling year has passed and fled: And, lo! In sad and pensive strain, I sing my birthday date again.
Unknown

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind do not matter and those who matter do not mind.
Unknown

If I’d known I was going to live this long (100 years), I’d have taken better care of myself.
Ubi Blake

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.
Unknown

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.
Larry Lorenzoni

Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.
Maurice Chevalier

First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.
Branch Rickey

May you live to be a hundred years With one extra year to repent.
Unknown

Why is a birthday cake the only food you can blow on and spit on and everybody rushes to get a piece?
Bobby Kelton

When I was younger,, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
Mark Twain

With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come.
William Shakespeare

For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.
John Glenn

A person is always startled when he hears himself seriously called an old man for the first time.
Unknown

Life is a card game during the first half of which we get birthday cards, and during the second half get-well cards.
Evan Esar

A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun.
Enjoy the trip.
Unknown

Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday, and it said that I needed an upgrade.
Unknown

Most of us can remember a time when a birthday – especially if it was one’s own – brightened the world as if a second sun has risen.
Robert Lynd

Happy birthday pig-head may you fart, fart and fart whole day.
Unknown

Age is like underwear…it creeps up on you!
Unknown

The return of my birthday, if I remember it, fills me with thoughts which it seems to be the general care of humanity to escape.
Samuel Johnson

Life has got to be lived – that’s all there is to it. At seventy, I would say the advantage is that you take life more calmly. You know that ‘this, too, shall pass!
Eleanor Roosevelt

I love everything that’s old: old friends, old times, old manners, old books, old wines.
Oliver Goldsmith

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
Jack Benny

Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.
Unknown

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
Lucille ball

There are so many things about which some old man ought to tell one while one is little; for when one is grown one would know them as a matter of course.
Rainer Maria Rilke

The old believe everything; the middle aged suspect everything: the young know everything.
Oscar Wilde

You are the best friend in the whole world.
I know. I Googled it.
Happy Birthday!

Live daringly, boldly, fearlessly. Taste the relish to be found in competition – in having put forth the best within you.
Unknown